Will God Really Provide for Me?

This is a question we all wrestle with and face at various points in our lives at different levels of intensity. As I reflect about this question, I think it is really only the topsoil of a deeper rooted question. When we ask the question, "Will God really provide for me?" what we're really asking is, "Can I really trust God?"


As we face different trials in our lives, the natural tendency of our flesh is to fear, and our trust in God is placed in the balance. But if we step back and examine the character of God and the finicky emotions of our hearts, we will realize that God is faithful and works in all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (1 Corinthians 1:9 & Romans 8:28). But still, our emotions can tell us otherwise.

This is where I believe trust is a choice. We must choose to trust God based on His character revealed in Scripture and the practical experiences we have had with Him in our lives. Trust in God is not based on emotions, but based on the character of the one in whom we are trusting. And God can be trusted.

Let me tell you a story from my life that is personal, real and transparent. I hope that this raw story will help you grow in your trust in God that you will always know He will provide for you in what He knows is best.

In my sophomore year of college, I had no idea what was about to hit my life. At the Fall Retreat of our college, God confronted an area of my life that I unconsciously swore I would never deal with. During the retreat, the Holy Spirit began to prod my heart about this issue. I kept resisting, telling the Holy Spirit to get away from me! Then at the end of a retreat sermon, the pastor speaking said he felt like God wanted us to break into small groups to maybe get some things off our chest that God wanted us to release. My resistance gave way to a gentle invitation with a group of friends, who I knew loved me and in a space that cultivated trust in God.

In our group of three, I let into the light what I thought I would never do. For the first time ever uttered from my mouth, I told my friends that when I was a child, I was sexually abused. I cried. They listened.

Well, I thought that step of an invitation to obedience would be all that I needed to do. Because of the severity of the abuse, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) set in. This forced me to seek help in counseling to begin to deal with my past. After several weeks of counseling, my counselor asked me if I would ever confront my sexual abuser. I looked at her as if she was crazy and quickly told her no. Then one day while driving, I heard a sermon on the radio about how Joseph revealed the things of his past to his family. Upon hearing this human voice, I heard the quiet, small voice of a great God calling me to do what I considered the impossible, confront my sexual abuser.

I chose a Sunday because I thought everyone I would need to tell and confront would be around on a Sunday. After much prayer, I felt like I needed to tell my parents (mom and step-dad), then the parents of the abuser and then the abuser them-self.

I stepped out of my room to talk to my parents, and was informed they were helping my sister and would have to talk with me later. Back on my knees in my room, I silently prayed, "I am trusting you God.." Knock. Knock. Knock. My mom said they were free. I sat my parents down and told them everything. Many emotions came forth. Regret. Fear. Shame. A small glimmer of freedom and hope... I then told them this was only the first step in the process and I would now need to tell my abuser's parents.

I drove down the freeway and a song came on the radio about trusting God and defeating the enemies of His people. Hope grew.

Arriving at the house, only the mother was home. I informed her I needed to talk to her and her husband together. She pressed, but I insisted. She explained that her husband was out on business and was over an hour away. I left the house standing on the driveway looking at a deep blue sky praying, "God, I trusted you. I trusted you, and now you are not coming through for me. Where are you?..." In the midst of praying, she came out on the porch and said her husband would be home in twenty minutes. God moved.

When her husband returned home, we went into their bedroom and I told them everything. Surprise. Guilt. Urgency. Many emotions came forth. I then proceeded to explain I would now need to confront the person who abused me.

In God's providence and sovereignty, the person who had abused me was coming by after a movie with a sibling. The plan was for the father to sit the abuser down at the table and then we would enter, me sitting at one end of the table and the abuser at the other. When we all sat down, I read the prepared letter I was advised to write so I would know what to say. I outlined the abuse and at the end of reading the letter, I said, "I forgive you." At that, the abuser only said, "I knew this day would come." Later, we found out at least four others were abused as well. The deeds of darkness were exposed by the Light and people were set free from the bondage of secrecy. God provided.

There's more to the story, but for now I want us to see how an impossible circumstance that had no way of lining up, came together in the hands of an Infinite God. As Jesus said in Luke 18:27, "What is impossible with people is possible with God."

(A note to sexual abuse survivors reading this. God called me to confront my sexual abuser. He may not be calling you to do the same. All the people I told and confronted responded well. This is not always the case. I would encourage you to find safe people whom you can trust that will listen deeply, counsel well and walk with you. Bring your heart Jesus, I believe He is a God of healing, on His time, will and way.)

Trust is a choice. We trust based on the character of the one we are trusting and our experience with them. God can be trusted from His revealed character in Scripture. Everyone's story is different. Yet we all can choose to trust God based off of who He is and through the experiences we have had when He came through for us in the past.

So the next time when you face the impossible, or just a time when you are in need, I would encourage you to trust our loving Father and our ever faithful friend and Savior, Jesus.

God really does provide.


"... for your Father knows what you need before you ask." (Matthew 6:8)

"Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you." (Matthew 6:33)

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)

"And my God will meet all of your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19)



Jesus, may we grow in deeper trust in our relationship with you. Amen.