10 Pitfalls for a Praying Life

Most followers of Jesus want to pray. We have a desire to spend time with God and be in God's presence. But on our journey of prayer, there are pitfalls that often keep us from a praying life. Naming pitfalls empowers us to recognize what derails us from a praying life and empowers us to take corrective measures as we cooperate with the Holy Spirit. Let us examine 10 pitfalls and possible responses we can take to cultivate a life of prayer.

1. Praying in your own power

Praying in our own power leaves us frustrated and burned out in our prayer lives. If we pray apart from the person, work and power of the Holy Spirit, we will be discouraged and frustrated. The Holy Spirit is the source to a life of prayer. Apart from the Spirit's energizing work and filling, a life of prayer will be empty. Sure, we can pray apart from the Holy Spirit, but a praying life cannot be sustained in our power alone. We need Another who is able to sustain our praying life. For example, every time we enter our communion with God and cultivate a praying life, we can invite the Holy Spirit to fill us afresh and anew. We can open our hands, assuming a posture of need and reception. Then by faith, we believe we have received a new filling by the promise of God's word. How much more will the Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him? (Luke 11:13) So asking and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide, empower and sustain our praying life is praying by the Spirit. But when we pray apart from the Holy Spirit in our own power, we encounter a pitfall to the praying life.

2. Sin

Let's throw off any extra baggage, get rid of the sin that trips us up, and fix our eyes on Jesus, faith's pioneer and perfecter (Hebrew 12:1-2). More than anything else, sin may be one of the bigger pitfalls that hinders a praying life. Sin entangles us in a snare that immobilizes our ability to pray and receive the flow of the Holy Spirit. Picture your praying life like a pipe. Water naturally flows through a pipe that is unobstructed. But if things get in the pipe that block the flow of water, then the water will not be able to pass through the pipe, or if it does, the water flow is minimal. In the same way, our prayer life is like this pipe. If we allow sin to corrode our lives, then our "prayer pipe" will be clogged so the Spirit is hindered flowing into our praying life. So we need to clean out the pipe! Simply enough, we confess our sin and by the Spirit's power, we turn from the sin not living in it any longer (1 John 1:9, Romans 6:6-7). So keeping our lives free from sin will keep us from a major pitfall for a praying life.

3. The Devil

Can you think of anyone else more on earth who does not want you to have a praying life? If the Devil can keep you from a praying life, he automatically causes you to be an ineffective follower of Jesus. If Satan can interrupt your abiding in Jesus, you can do nothing (John 15:5). This is a pretty serious and bold statement, but its true. Apart from Jesus, you can do nothing in the Kingdom of God. So if Satan can interrupt your praying life, then he has you in a pitfall. And Satan's pitfalls can look different for different people. For some, pitfalls may be distraction, spiritual apathy, excuses, lack of motivation, or pride in thinking you do not need a praying life. For others, Satan's pitfalls may be temptations, attacks on your health and sleep, family or ministry that keep you from a praying life. Whatever they may be, we need to be aware of Satan's pitfalls in our lives. And this can be difficult because he tends to blind us of his involvement by his sly and often subtle tactics. This is why abiding in Jesus is so important. Jesus will help us recognize Satan's work in our life so we can take the appropriate measures to deal with the issues. Consider reading Guarding Against the Devil: Temptation to illuminate some more of Satan's possible pitfalls.

4. Inconsistency

Just like going to the gym or learning a new language requires consistency, so the praying life requires consistency. Picture your prayer life like a muscle. As you exercise your prayer life, it grows stronger, more agile and equipped. The more consistent a prayer life becomes, the more naturally a praying life is cultivated. I once challenge a college student to pray for a ministry that was entrusted to her care. Praying this way took her about 30 minutes. She had never prayed in such a manner or for such a long period of time. The student recounted that right after she finished praying, she fell asleep due to spiritual exhaustion! She said she was not used to using her prayer muscle in such a way. Then as she continued to pray weekly in this way, her prayer muscle became stronger, and stronger and stronger to the point she could pray longer and deeper more easily. Such consistency will keep us from another pitfall to the praying life.

5. Lacking other needed spiritual ingredients

Cookies and milk are one of my favorites. But have you ever eaten a cookie without sugar added? I haven't! But if I did, I imagine the cookie would be missing a necessary ingredient that makes a cookie a cookie. In addition to the Holy Spirit (as mentioned above), praise and Scripture are necessary for a praying life. Praise opens the door to worshiping in Spirit and truth (John 4:23). When we worship through praise, it is like receiving the vital water we need to live. Consider turning on Pandora to a worship station or using your ipod for some in-house worship. Scripture also provides an opportunity to enliven our prayer lives. As we read Scripture, we encounter more of who God is. Scripture not only reveals God, but it sustains us spiritually. Jesus even said people cannot live on food alone, but on spiritual food that comes from God's hand (Matthew 4:4). The Scriptures are like food we need to live. So both worship through praise and the Word revitalize and energize our prayer lives.

6. The "I'll pray later" or "I pray all the time" excuse

Has your parent, guardian or spouse ever asked you to do something and you responded, "I'll do it later"? I know I have! And those dishes that were supposed to get done, end up sitting in the sink for longer than they should have. Eventually, a rancid smell comes from the dishes as mold and bitter water begins to emerge. Just like the excuse of doing the dishes later, we can encounter the pitfall of "I'll pray later." And we know that when we say, "I'll do it later" it most likely never happens. So we need to be careful of the excuse of "praying later" because the possibility of praying later is slim to none. In addition, the "I pray all the time" excuse is quite common. There are followers of Jesus who claim they pray all the time, but never have any dedicated time to the Lord. I think it is quite impossible to pray all the time without every taking the time to go deeper. Just like a husband and wife who only see each other in passing or briefly discuss their day, so it is with the follower of Jesus who says "I pray all the time." There is no depth of intimacy developed. Jesus himself often withdrew to be with the Father on a consistent basis for the praying life (Luke 5:16, Mark 1:35). He knew the importance of spending time dedicated to talking with and listening to the Father. So if Jesus had to (and wanted to) do spend time with the Father, than how much more should we by avoiding the pitfalls of excuses?

7. Distractions

In Western culture, distractions are paramount. It is as if this culture is built off of distractions... phones, texts, radio or music, facebook, t.v., work, marketing, and the list can go on. The more we allow ourselves to be consumed with distractions in daily life, the more likely these distractions will keep us from a praying life. Distractions contribute to a major pitfall of a praying life. I know for me, that if I open the internet to check email or whatever before I pray in the morning, my prayer focus goes out the widow. So, I often do not open the internet or even respond to texts before I have given time in prayer in the morning. But for others, distractions can be different. It is up to us to recognize what distracts us from a praying life and then make a choice by exercising our will to not give into these types of pitfalls. 

8. Exhaustion

When we are exhausted, the last thing we want to do is pray. That is why exhaustion is such a big and dangerous pitfall. As humans, we are interconnected in such a way that our body, soul (mind, emotions, will) and spirit all effect one another. So if our bodies are tired, our soul and spirit might just be too. I know there are times when I wake up in the morning and am exhausted. And when I try to withdraw to be with God, my mind is fuzzy and I cannot focus very well. That is why self-care is so important. When we take care of our bodies by eating healthy, sleeping adequately and exercising, our prayer life will often be energized with a greater ability to pray during the time we find best. Taking care of ourselves helps us avoid the pitfall of exhaustion.

9. Praying solo all the time

The praying life is difficult when praying solo all the time. When we pray solo, we can become isolated and alone. But when we pray in community, we realize how vital it is for us to pray with others to grow as a praying person. Praying with others encourages us to pray. When we see others who have the flame or spark of prayer, we are encouraged to continue asking God for the same fire. Praying with others also helps us to learn how to pray too. No one person is a master of prayer. That is why it is essential for us to pray with others, so we can learn how to pray more fully. As we pray in community, we learn different ways to pray and how different people encounter the Holy Spirit. Our worldview then expands to see how much more God has to offer us in our praying life by observing the lives of others. Praying with others helps us avoid certain pitfalls of praying solo.

10. Directionless prayer

Have you ever been bored or lost and have no idea what to do or where to go? That is a pretty frustrating situation. I once was traveling alone in Mexico trying to use public transportation. I came to a point where I had no idea where I was on the map or what bus line I needed to use to get home. I felt panicked, frustrated and clueless. I needed help. So I asked a couple of people in the area where I was on the map and what bus line I needed to take to get to where I needed to go. Luckily, everything worked out. I got my bearings and figured out what bus would take me close to home. In the same way, a praying life can encounter the pitfall of directionless prayer. This is a time when we need some outside help just like I did trying to figure out the bus system. To receive direction in prayer, we can turn to many resources available to help us. These can be people, practical resources that teach us how to pray, guides that gives us action prayer items to pray for throughout the world, or that help us learn more about God so we can pray with direction. Consider reading 10 Tips for Praying or Becoming a House of Prayer. Other resources such as Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home by Richard Foster is a great resource or The Hours that Changes the World: A Practical Plan for Personal Prayer by Disk Eastman might be helpful. Using available resources helps us to find direction in our prayers and avoid the pitfall of directionless prayer.

Jesus, would you help us recognize the pitfalls in our lives that keep us from a praying life. Then by your grace and Spirit, would you enable us to avoid these pitfalls and follow you into a life of prayer. Amen.

You are invited to share your thoughts and reflections on pitfalls for a praying life below.