One of Satan's greatest tactics is the use of shame. Shame is an extremely powerful emotion that can render us immobilized. Shame generates fear of relationships. Shame causes us to hide. We hide from ourselves, others and especially God. But shame is a lie. Shame tells us we cannot accept ourselves, that we cannot be accepted by others and we especially cannot be accepted by God. Shame says, You did what?! That happened to you?! If Satan can wrap our hearts and lives in shame, we can become his captives. But there is hope. There is an antidote to shame. And I believe the antidote is acceptance. Acceptance of ourselves. Acceptance from others. And most importantly, acceptance from God. Let us examine Scripture and Satan's tactics of shame more fully.
Before we go any further, let us make a distinction between guilt and shame. We will define guilt as a feeling or conviction of an action, such as stealing a cookie from a cookie jar. And we will define shame as a condition or state of being, such as when we believe the condition of shame is that I am the problem. Shame says something is wrong with me, instead of what I did or thought was wrong (guilt).
From the beginning of the creation of humanity, Satan was at work. He was waiting for the perfect opportunity to wreck the plans of God and bring shame upon humanity. We all know the story. Satan in the form of a serpent convinced Eve to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Then she convinced Adam to eat the fruit as well. When they did, their eyes were "opened." Here is where the story picks up...
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, "Where are you?" He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid." (Genesis 3:7-10)
Notice the initial response of shame. Adam and Eve covered themselves and hid themselves because they were afraid. Shame caused them to hide themselves from themselves, from each other and from God. Their shamed caused them to hide because of fear. Shame destroyed acceptance on all fronts.
Who was behind the whole downfall of humanity? Satan. His tactics ultimately produced shame, which led to fear, destruction of acceptance and the ruin of relationships. And today, Satan uses the same tactics. He lures God's people into sin or causes horrible things to happen to them, and then throws shame all over them. The shame sometimes piles up so high, we become captive to a stronghold of shame.
In America, shame is rampant. (I cannot speak to other cultures, but every culture has forms of shame.) We are shameful of things we have done or things that have been done to us. We never talk about molestation or sexual assault. We hide this at all costs. We are ashamed of our struggles with pornography or with sexual exploits that happened at a moment when we lacked self-control. We hide our suicidal thoughts. Our cutting. Our eating struggles. Our feelings of inadequacy. And the list can go on...
Shame is powerful. But its power in our lives can be broken. Let me tell you a short story, and then give some practical thoughts about overcoming shame through Christ.
When I was a child, I was sexual abused on several occasions. I swore I would never tell anyone. I was ashamed of what happened to me. I was afraid to tell anyone about it. Shame and fear kept me from confronting the abuse, from bringing it into the light of relationship with others, and with God. But in college, God gave me a choice to share about this at a retreat. I decided to share with a close friend that I had been molested. He listened and sat with me in the shame and fear. Freedom. Release. Acceptance. But this was just the beginning. I soon entered counseling for several months, continuing to bring the sexual abuse into relationship with more safe people. I began to accept and confront what happened to me. Ultimately, I brought the sexual abuse to light to my family. In my case, luckily they believed me. Now, I openly share about what happened to me. I am free from shame and fear. (Please note: every case of sexual abuse is different. Not all cases end up like mind did. I have heard stories where families did not believe the sexual abuse survivor. But the goal is to bring this, and any other area of shame to light with safe people.)
So what about you? What areas of shame and fear hold you captive? What shame do you keep from relationship with yourself, safe people and God? Here are some practical thoughts to help us find freedom from shame through Christ.
Accept Your Areas of Shame
Scripture tells us that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). No one is without sin. By acknowledging ourselves as sinners, we can more easily accept and admit our shame. Then we do not have to hide as much.
A first step toward overcoming shame through Christ is being honest with ourselves and accepting whatever shame we hold inside. The feelings can be extremely strong and cause much fear, but when we can accept ourselves, Satan and shame begin to lose their power. We need to accept what causes us shame; imperfections, regrets, mistakes, what we did, or what was done to us. When we accept ourselves, we become "okay" with ourselves and begin to love ourselves well that we may love others and receive God's love more fully.
Bring Your Areas of Shame into Relationship with Others
As we bring our areas of shame into relationship with safe people, we gain freedom. Shame begins to wash away in the light of safe human relationships. And as we are accepted by others, we are able to more freely accept ourselves. Satan and shame lose their power when people just listen, sit with us and accept us as we are.
Bring Your Areas of Shame into Relationship with God
Jesus has already paid the debt for all our sins (Romans 4:25). We do not have to earn forgiveness, nor beg for it. Jesus freely extends forgiveness to us by his death on the cross and made us righteous through his own righteousness. He does not judge us in this period of grace or by what has happened to us. We can be honest before Him with full assurance of His love and acceptance.
And it is kind of funny if you logically think about it. God already knows all this stuff and can see everything. So hiding from God does not really work. But when we do "hide" from God, we are cutting God out from this area of our life. And God often respects our boundaries with Him. We often must give Him permission to enter these areas of our lives. And He will gladly come when we do. So as we invite God into our areas of shame, the light and love of Jesus wash away our shame, restoring us into a more whole relationship with Him. We then can receive the acceptance of God in our hearts and lives.
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Shame is a powerful weapon of Satan. If Satan can wrap us up in shame, he can rule over us and our lives through the power we give him. But as we accept the areas of our shame, share them with safe people, and invite God into these areas, we find freedom from shame and discover an acceptance that comes through Jesus. And remember, everybody's journeys are different. Our freedom from shame may come quickly. It may take some time. But, I believe that as we leave our hiding and come into relationship with ourselves, safe people and God, we break free from our shame, to the glory of God.
In Christ we have bold and confident access to God through faith in him. -Ephesians 3:12
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Jesus, may you free us from Satan and the power of shame in our lives. May you free us to live in the truth and transparency of holistic relationships you desire for us. May we then experience your love and acceptance so that we may love and accept others, being Jesus in a world of need. Amen.
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